Canadian Tuxedo Optional (![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} michaelpop) wrote,@ 2008-02-05 09:46:00 |
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The scandalous history of lactose intolerance.
While I was clipping coupons a few weeks back I came across an ad for a free sample of lactose intolerance pills. Since I'm lactose intolerant and like free things, I sent away for some in the hopes that perhaps one day I'd be able to eat pizza and ice cream (not at the same time) and not feel a little alien growing inside my stomach afterwards. (Apparently the thing that sets these pills apart from "the leading brand" is that it contains "patented healthy bacteria" that gives you the freedom and convenience to take a dose in the morning and not worry about every bite of dairy throughout the day. Set it and forget it!)
Written on one of the flaps of the sample box is a "lactose intolerance fact sheet" which was highly informative. I learned that 90 to 100 percent of Asian Americans are lactose intolerant. I knew Asians had a higher instance of lactose intolerance, but I had no idea it was that high. The lactose intolerance rate in Hispanics, African Americans and American Indians is also really high. What I gather from this is that all delicious dairy-based foods were created by the white man as part of an insidious plot to wreak havoc on the digestive tracts of foreigners. What an ingenious method of warfare. Well-played, white man.
Admittedly, I know very little about lactose intolerance other than eating dairy makes my stomach hurt, but beyond the obvious like milk and cheese, I never really considered how many other things have lactose in them. Check out this list: bread and other baked goods, soups, lunch meats, candies and other snacks, mixes for pancakes, biscuits and cookies. Um, that's pretty much a list of the things I eat on a daily basis. No wonder my stomach is always fucked up.
Anyway, I only have enough pills to last me until Saturday, so we'll see if this works or not.
While I was clipping coupons a few weeks back I came across an ad for a free sample of lactose intolerance pills. Since I'm lactose intolerant and like free things, I sent away for some in the hopes that perhaps one day I'd be able to eat pizza and ice cream (not at the same time) and not feel a little alien growing inside my stomach afterwards. (Apparently the thing that sets these pills apart from "the leading brand" is that it contains "patented healthy bacteria" that gives you the freedom and convenience to take a dose in the morning and not worry about every bite of dairy throughout the day. Set it and forget it!)
Written on one of the flaps of the sample box is a "lactose intolerance fact sheet" which was highly informative. I learned that 90 to 100 percent of Asian Americans are lactose intolerant. I knew Asians had a higher instance of lactose intolerance, but I had no idea it was that high. The lactose intolerance rate in Hispanics, African Americans and American Indians is also really high. What I gather from this is that all delicious dairy-based foods were created by the white man as part of an insidious plot to wreak havoc on the digestive tracts of foreigners. What an ingenious method of warfare. Well-played, white man. Admittedly, I know very little about lactose intolerance other than eating dairy makes my stomach hurt, but beyond the obvious like milk and cheese, I never really considered how many other things have lactose in them. Check out this list: bread and other baked goods, soups, lunch meats, candies and other snacks, mixes for pancakes, biscuits and cookies. Um, that's pretty much a list of the things I eat on a daily basis. No wonder my stomach is always fucked up.
Anyway, I only have enough pills to last me until Saturday, so we'll see if this works or not.
