Canadian Tuxedo Optional ([info]michaelpop) wrote,
@ 2008-06-05 11:38:00
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Let's get serious.
To-do list for the next 30 days:

  • Fly to Jacksonville for Lindsey's birthday

  • Move my bookcases of CDs from my bedroom to the spare bedroom

  • Take down my posters and decide which ones I want to frame

  • Clean/organize the apartment in anticipation of Lindsey's arrival

  • Make space in my closet for Lindsey's clothes

  • Fly one-way to Jacksonville to help Lindsey pack her stuff into a relocube

  • Hop in Lindsey's car and drive cross-country together

  • Unload her stuff and move her into our place

It's going to be a busy month. Busier for her, of course. She's the one who has to pack up her entire life in Jacksonville and move out here. I HOPE I'M WORTH IT, HAW HAW. All I have to do is just clear some space. And yet I've been SO LAZY about it. It's crazy how fast time flies. It doesn't seem like that long ago when we were talking about her moving out here this summer, and now it IS summer, and she'll be out here so soon, and yeah, I really need to start moving my ass now. If this were a movie trailer, the dude with the comically dramatic voice would be saying, "Everything you think you know is about to change... FOREVER!"

And it's true. I'm going to go from a sloth-like bachelor's existence to living with a partner. That's a first. We'll have to learn how to make the transition from seeing each other for a few days every month to being up in each other's faces 24/7. I'm ecstatic as could be, and I know it's going to be extremely rewarding, but I know it's not going to come easily. We've talked about things in general terms, but we haven't really gotten down to the nitty-gritty of figuring out how we'll divide up expenses or chores, you know, the important but unsexy and boring stuff that's crucial to maintaining a strife-free relationship. I think we'll be fine though. Especially if we can stand being in a car together for a week.

Speaking of the road trip, we're going to be starting a blog so we can update from the road. How nerdy! But she has friends/family that aren't on LJ so it's an easy way to give updates. So look forward to that.

Tonight I'll be making my penultimate trip to Jacksonville, and then it's 2 weekends of living alone before the big move aka CRUISIN' USA SUMMER ROAD TRIP VACATIONPALOOZA '08. Vacation! Two years in a row! Crazy stuff, man. I'm so excited I can finally cross off "drive across the country" from my lifetime to-do list. Seriously!

Also, from here on out expect lots of Lindsey/relationship/moving-related stuff blowin' up your friends-page.

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[info]angelly_bean
2008-06-05 06:51 pm UTC (link)
congratulations! best of luck to both of you.
and remember that compromise is key in co-habitation. and accepting that even the ones you love have shortcomings.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:35 pm UTC (link)
Thanks, Ang!

Yes, compromise and acceptance. I love her the way she is... but I'm still kind of hoping that she'll learn that dirty dishes don't belong on the coffee table.

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[info]angelly_bean
2008-06-05 07:40 pm UTC (link)
that's when some firm persuasion has to take place.
i have to keep reminding Carter that dishes go in the sink, not left on the table or the counter! but i try to not be too "naggy."

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:49 pm UTC (link)
I've got some firm persuasion... IN MY PANTS!

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[info]angelly_bean
2008-06-05 07:55 pm UTC (link)
ooohhhhh shit!

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[info]violamarie
2008-06-05 06:54 pm UTC (link)
That is so cool. I remember reading the blogs back when you first met her. It has been so much fun watching this beautiful event unfold in your life! It is like watching a very romantic movie in parts.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:33 pm UTC (link)
Thanks! The really great thing is that we're still just as giddy over each other as we were back in the beginning, so I'm counting on that momentum to carry us through any of the rough patches that might arise during our transition phase. I'm counting on a happy ending!

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[info]lilypads
2008-06-05 06:58 pm UTC (link)
aww yay! It sounds like at any rate you'll both be prepared for it to actually take some work. Obviously you're going to be excited, but you're being realistic about it taking some adjusting. I'm sure you'll both be fine and super happy. :)

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:31 pm UTC (link)
I think we're both realistic enough to understand that it's not going to be happily ever after from the start, but hopefully we'll work our way to it. :)

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[info]ms_pooka
2008-06-05 07:01 pm UTC (link)
yea!

it's helpful to sit down and chart out who will do what chores. i've never been that logical and it still just kind of works itself out. same with the expenses. it seems trickier than it really is.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:29 pm UTC (link)
Chores I already know I'm responsible for: dishes and vacuuming. We'll switch off on bathroom-detail. Dusting I suppose will also be split. I'll do my own laundry and she'll do the sheets. It should be noted that I'm the "clean one". She says she'll be on her best behavior, but we'll see!

As far as money, we'll probably get a joint bank account for bills and for going out that we can contribute proportionally to. That way we can still have our own money to use however we want. It all sounds good in theory, but it's the practice that I'm curious about.

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[info]watchamacallit
2008-06-05 07:40 pm UTC (link)
In my recent experience with co-habitation, the chores sorted themselves out since we both dislike opposite things (he does dishes, I sweep floors and dust, etc). For expenses, he sends me a bill via PayPal for utilities and rent and we generally alternate for going-out nights. We've discussed a joint account to make this easier but, since we have different banks right now, we haven't made the switch. I think joint accounts are really useful for saving up for vacations and fancy restaurants.

Seriously though, I have a feeling you two will work everything out in no time. It's really not that difficult!

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[info]heartofkudzu
2008-06-09 02:11 pm UTC (link)
I HAVE CLAIMED VACUUMING FROM THE BEGINNING! I guess I can also claim Magic-Erasering the tub.

I think we'll be able to hash out a lot of the details on our epic adventure when we have hours upon hours in the car together.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-09 04:12 pm UTC (link)
Well, I guess we're just going to have the cleanest carpet ever because I plan on doing my share of playing with the vacuum too. I wish you had more carpet at your place because I had so much fun with the Dyson!!

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[info]skinofthenight
2008-06-05 07:12 pm UTC (link)
I can't wait to read the blog! Have you guys decided where you're going to stop on the way back and whatnot? Which route are you taking? How long are you taking to do the trip? This is all so exciting! :)

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:26 pm UTC (link)
We still haven't finalized the details of the trip yet, but the rough itinerary has us staying mostly along the 10 and spending a night or two in New Orleans, a night in San Antonio, then going north into Austin and Dallas, and then onto the 20 which merges back with the 10 and on into Phoenix.

We plan on doing it in a week. Hopefully that's enough time!

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[info]meropa
2008-06-05 07:46 pm UTC (link)
You are my hero.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 07:49 pm UTC (link)
What did I do now!

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[info]meropa
2008-06-05 08:02 pm UTC (link)
I'm just glad that you are being very logical about all this. It gives me hope for dudedom.

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[info]nogoodnik
2008-06-05 07:57 pm UTC (link)
wow that cross-country trip is going to rule!! have fun and congrats and good luck and all of that!

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[info]explorationteam
2008-06-05 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Congratulations! I'm really happy for you. That's a really big step and committment to make.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-05 08:58 pm UTC (link)
Not as big as, say, getting married and moving to Austin, but yeah, it's getting up there. :)

Also: I drove by Old River Road a couple of weeks ago and had an "a-ha!" moment. So that's where your band got its name!

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[info]sonicsuperslide
2008-06-05 10:24 pm UTC (link)
This is the coolest thign i read all day! happy for you both!

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[info]pulpstress
2008-06-05 11:26 pm UTC (link)
How awesome for you guys!!

I have to pieces of advice: 1) While it is a good idea to split expenses, do not, I repeat, do not combine your finances. That happens if/when and only if/when you get married.

The good thing is there's a spare room if you need some space from each other. And this brings me to piece of advice #2: If either one of you gets pissed off at the other (for whatever reason) take a break from each other for a couple of hours. This'll give you both time to stew on your own over whatever the problem is as well as give you time to reflect over the main cause of the problem.

If you follow just those two little "rules," you'll be just fine. I've been living with my boyfriend for nearly 18 months now and those things have definitely helped us to get through the occasional rough patches.

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[info]michaelpop
2008-06-06 12:41 am UTC (link)
I repeat, do not combine your finances.

I like how you're so adamantly opposed, but don't explain why! Did you have a bad experience in the past?

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[info]kabballer
2008-06-06 01:37 am UTC (link)
"Make space in my closet for Lindsey's clothes"

Whew, I initially read that as "Make space in my closet for Lindsey." CCRRRRAAACKKET.

Have fun, that sounds like a great trip.

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[info]benjy_c
2008-06-06 01:52 am UTC (link)
Wow, this is a big undertaking! Good luck with all the preparation

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[info]kissacod
2008-06-06 07:19 am UTC (link)
VACATIONPALOOZA!! Hope Lindsey has a happy birthday and that you guys have a great roadtrip! :) Yesss... road blog!!

AND this transition will be great. Fun times ahead! Just don't shed your clothes en route to the bathroom for a shower, and not pick them up after. I seem to know many men that do that, and I want to incinerate their clothes.

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[info]ghostwaltz
2008-06-08 03:25 am UTC (link)
aw man, I wish I could make it up to Jacksonville to see you guys before she peaces out of Florida forever but I am like, incredibly busy for the end of time for once in my life. I can't believe this is the first time you've lived with a partner! From seeing Lindsey's cooking adventures on flickr, I think it's going to be an awesome experience for both of you. Living with Richard was really just an amazing step to take in our relationship and I miss it so much. I wish you both the best of luck! so glad you two found each other.

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[info]heartofkudzu
2008-06-09 05:00 pm UTC (link)
I WISH YOU COULD TOO!!! but we'll be back for visits and stuff, i'm sure. (although by the time we get back, you'll probably be gone from florida!) and i hope my flickr cooking adventures translate well to michael's tummy. :) cooking for him is something i'm really excited about, though!

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Several days later
[info]beckon_you_on
2008-06-09 02:58 pm UTC (link)
My $.02 regarding some stuff:

When it comes to splitting the billz, since I currently make more $$, I usually pay everything (rent, internet, electricity, we don't have gas and water is included in rent) on the 1st of each month and then George gives me cash or a check for exactly half. Sometimes he puts the rent on his credit card for the rewards points and I give him a check, deducting his half of other bills from that. We take turns with grocery-buying and entertainment-buying, too. This system seems to work well, stuff that's not divided exactly in half evens out in the end.

Chores took some sorting out but we basically figured out by living together which things we each prefer to do. That way there's a better chance things assigned to us get done. George takes trash out, does dishes most times, cleans out and organizes the fridge/pantry. I clean the bathroom and (attempt to) put clothes in the laundry baskets, and I do laundry because I am obsessive about the way my stuff gets washed and dried. Vacuuming happens whenever one of us stops being lazy and clears room to do it.. haha.

I don't recommend combining finances, at least until you settle in, unless it's a "fun" account for vacations, or your wedding. My ex-fiance and I did this and it was a source of much drama whenever we had arguments and once I left.

This got long. Hi. See you in less than a month!

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Re: Several days later
[info]michaelpop
2008-06-09 08:01 pm UTC (link)
Hi! Uh, I feel like this is a thing that I should know this about you, but when were you engaged? Before I knew you, I hope, otherwise, I suck.

Who knows, we very well may end up using the "one person pays and the other reimburses" method of dealing with expenses. I don't know. Whatever is easiest and causes the least amount of stress is what I want. I don't even think bills are an issue, since I've already been paying my way, it's the going out that I wonder how we'll deal with. Ugh. Money, blargh.

See you in less than a month! Crazy. We need to, like, start compiling addresses and directions and junk. I'll be in touch soon.

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Re: Several days later
[info]beckon_you_on
2008-06-09 08:06 pm UTC (link)
Adam, the one I moved to Ohio to be with? We were engaged less than halfway into our year long relationship. It was pretty ridic..

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Re: Several days later
[info]beckon_you_on
2008-06-09 08:06 pm UTC (link)
P.S. That was in 2000-2001.

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